Living on the edge
Over the last couple of weeks, I've had more and more discovery calls and consultations with people who are really struggling with nervous system dysregulation.
Many of them have become aware of this, but are confused about what to actually do about it. Some have been trying breathwork, qigong, meditation and all sorts of other practices. These things have helped them feel better in the moment, but they haven't alleviated their symptoms, and at best they've just kept a lot of the anxiety at bay.
They describe feeling like they're living on the edge of something all the time, whether that's physical symptoms, debilitating overwhelm, brain fog or exhaustion. If this sounds familiar, I want to share a few of the important points I talk through with them.
Your nervous system is always looking for safety and trying to steer you away from danger. It works intricately with the immune system, your senses and your emotions, so when it's on high alert, it's rarely just one part of you that feels it.
Why we end up in a bit of a pickle
There are a couple of reasons we can end up in a bit of a pickle with our nervous systems and anxiety.
The first is an evolutionary mismatch between our primal, ancestral biology and our current lifestyles. We're not really designed for this much stimulation, information and connection, or for a constant stream of bad news from every corner of the world.
I think a lot of people are finally waking up to this and starting to make real adjustments. The hours they're putting into work, the time they spend on technology and scrolling, the amount of things they're buying, the financial pressures they're putting themselves under, and the constant compare and despair online.
A lot of the media you consume also makes you feel like you're falling short or failing, or tells you the world is dangerous and you need to start future-proofing and controlling everything to stay safe.
The second is that you may be overriding a lot of the emotions in your body by staying in your head all the time. Your emotions are your truth, your gut feeling and heartfelt sense. Your mind, on the other hand, is often preoccupied with social safety and what people think of you.
This might also be a habit of a lifetime. If you had difficult experiences in your younger years, or even just caregivers who put a lot of pressure on you, you may struggle to process and feel emotions within your body. Instead, you jump into your mind constantly, following all the actions it suggests.
Mind and body
The understanding that the body holds our experiences and emotions is gaining traction, thanks to the work of Gabor Maté (When the Body Says No) and Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score). But there's still a real lack of awareness about the role of the body when we want to truly care for ourselves, look after our health or lower our risk of disease.
Many of the people I work with have started to tackle the mind. Some have had talking therapies and are able to understand and intellectualise the issues they're having, but haven't necessarily "felt" the primal, core emotions that were part of those experiences. They may not be aware of the relevance of the mind-body connection, and how the mind is guiding the biology.
Creating space and stability
So one of the first things I encourage clients to do is scale back their daily routine. First of all, to create some space and destimulate the nervous system a little.
Consistency with this routine is incredibly important, because it creates a kind of backup for the nervous system, a sense of stability. And from that place, we can begin a combination of education and practical tools, used every day, to support a deeper level of transformation.
This isn't about adding yet another practice to an already full day. It's about giving your system enough space and safety to stop scanning for danger, so you can begin to feel what's really going on underneath.
It starts with you.
Want to work with me? Book a free discovery call.
